So, I'm going to share one of my deepest, darkest secrets: I'm a stress plucker. It's true. When things get tough, the tweezers get goin'. The more stressed I feel, the thinner my eyebrows are. I'd expound a little more, but what else is there to say? Here's what I looked like during the last two weeks of school...
What? You thought I'd post an ACTUAL picture of freakish-looking me? How little you know me, my friends. How little indeed. Why bother? Natalie Portman gives a great demonstration of how normally gorgeous people turn instantly freaky without eyebrows, so imagine the results when the person (ie-me) is just ok-looking. YIKES. (I have no idea if she really was ever "eyebrowless" or if it's just photoshopped.) And, a little FYI, did you know that Mona Lisa didn't have eyebrows? Well, at least not at the particular time that she sat for this somewhat famous painting...
I thought about spilling my secret here on the blog during the height of my affliction, but then I decided it was wiser to not tip people off. So instead, I painstakingly drew them in each day, and from far away they looked so-so but it became very obvious once you got up close that they were only 2D eyebrows. I think some people noticed. I could see it in their faces, but they never said anything about it. Emily Post would be so proud!Seeing as how I could now choose for my eyebrows to look anyway I wanted, I considered all the options. Here are just a few...
These are actually a nice shape, but clearly drawn on and VERY dark:
These are pencil thin and WAY too close together:
This is a good option for all the "Hollywood in the 30's" parties I'm always invited to:
Again, pencil thin and WAY too close together, among other things:
Check out these geometric beauties-a math teacher's dream!
All I have to say is...wow:
Finally, this poor sweet girl. You can tell she's really trying but...honey, no one's eyebrows grow that far apart and that hook-shaped:
Let me ask a question, and I'd really like to know your opinions. What do you think of makeup tattoos? I've NEVER imagined myself as the type to get a tattoo, but now I'm not so sure. I mean, suppose I fall victim to this sort of calamity again?? It'll cut out the extra time I had to set aside each morning for precise stenciling and eliminate all the worrying I've done that I'd accidentally rub my face and smudge something at some point during the day. Here's a stunning before and after shot...nice eyebrows, huh? I don't think I'd bother with the eyes or lips, but the eyebrows are really tempting!
Or there's always this tattooing option. Evan's reaction to this shot was classic..."Man, she clearly didn't have any good friends to tell her beforehand how stupid an idea that was."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to wait for your eyebrows to grow back? Luckily, I haven't had too many social engagements over the last 6 weeks, so I've been able to wait it out in private. Phew! But don't worry, I'm well on my way to looking like I used to. For those of you who may not quite remember, here's a photo to jog your memory:
And last but not least, a clip for you to enjoy. We love Arrested Development around here, and Evan sure loved being able to tease me for the last few months that I was Stan Sitwell.
